install theme

framewxrk:

too lazy to masturbate can you do it for me

50shadesofyodaddysdick:

boyfriend: what’s for dinner?

me:

image

m4ge:

how to improve a skirt: add pockets. how to improve a dress: add pockets. how to improve jeans: add pockets. how to improve a cardigan: add pockets. how to improve your acne: add pockets. how to improve your shattered relationships: add pockets

queenchrissycumberbatch:

my friendship comes in 3 levels:

1) sass 

2) insults

3) inappropriate sexual humor. 

erident:

people who think they’re cool by being wildly inappropriate 300% of the time

image

(Source: doqe)

slaive:

when you know you typed ur password wrong but you hit enter still hoping it’s correct

  • what she says: i'm tired
  • what she means: shark tale is my favourite movie
  • Friend: So what did you do last night?
  • Me: OMG I slept with my boyfriend!
  • Friend: WHAT!? You have a boyfriend!? Who is it?
  • Me: My bed.