install theme

communistbakery:

I was trying to make a pun about escaping quicksand but I’m stuck

(Source: communistbakery)

apuarius:

Today my dad told me he was hungry and I looked at him and said “hey hungry I’m daughter” and he was kinda shocked

(Source: jagboo)

bunsen:

waiting for the pizza guy like

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can u pretend im not ugly and annoying and fall in love with me

dangruchy:

if it is ur birthday happy birthday and if it isnt happy existing day

(Source: dangruchy)

mill-iam:

Hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon

(Source: millie-m0o)

princeofhopefulness:

deodrant:

*tries to talk*

*gets ignored*

“you should talk more!”

theanti90smovement:

im  dropping out of school to become a full time piece of shit

bingedrunk:

when you’ve been with the same guy for 4 years

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(Source: partynoxious)